Where do I start?

I sit here at the little desk in the corner of the lounge room that I created as a ME space in my boyfriend’s place (which technically is now “our” place) trying to work out what to write about in my first blog, I thought how about THE day… the day I lost my job…

It all started on the Monday 21st March, it was almost 4pm, I am cruising towards home time and I am called into the office by a manager that doesn’t normally visit our office very much. (One of those… employed by one company, work for another scenario’s).He has another man with him that I had seen before (maybe the work Xmas do?!) which I quickly learn is the “legal” representation. The first 10 minutes he stumbles through trying to explain that they were cutting costs and unfortunately I was no longer needed – etc…then the kicker comes… effective immediately. Literally pack your desk, hand back your security pass….bye bye Jess.

I am awash of emotions. The first, I had been working on this project for 3 years and had made MANY friends along and I couldn’t even send a “cc all” goodbye email?! The second, was relief followed by anger, I was irrevocably unhappy in my job (the one I used to love) and I was also unfortunately the victim of workplace bullying hence the relief. That did last long, because then I was angry! I didn’t get to leave by MY terms. Leaving was taken out of my control. I didn’t get to quit and flip them the bird (whilst I was in the elevator solo… so they couldn’t see but it would make me feel like a rockstar – LOL).

As I rode the bus home accompanied by one of my other managers, who “happened” to be going to the cinema after work EXACTLY near my house (that was awkward – I just wanted to be alone), this is the same manager mind you, who had to follow my every move from the meeting, to packing up my desk, to leaving the building (um.. I am not going to steal a stapler…) and all I could think of was… shit I knew this was coming. I had foreseen this. I had even contacted my financial planner a week earlier to see if redundancy was covered in my insurances, as I just had a “hunch”.  So little miss positive gave herself a pat on the back and got off the bus. Well she said, this must be the universe giving me the push I needed. I am bound to leap straight into something great! I had a little payout and I was convinced I would find work in no time and just pay off my debt with this wonderful payment that had just fallen into my lap. HELL WAS I WRONG!

God I wish I could go back to that unicorn and rainbows Jess on the bus and say…..FFS – SAVE SAVE SAVE. Don’t spend anything. Don’t treat yourself to those colourful dresses that unleash your inner hippy or those 20 million books (what?! Ok maybe 10 million), put extra on your debts, have a plan B, don’t waste a cent….. Because you know what…..you will still be looking for a job in 2 months (and 9 days, but who’s counting?!) from now! Well a time machine doesn’t exist now does it!

Can things get better? Yes they can…but first this happened…

*Part 2 coming soon*

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3 thoughts on “Where do I start?

  1. Ohhh dear Jess your story has bought back horrid memories of a work enviroment littered with bullies and the aftermath feelings of being bullied….

    Like

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